I went and told mom in person, as Bob suggested, and she told Kim who cried with me on the phone, and they're going to tell Lisa. Of course, I could live a "normal" life and outlive everybody, one never knows. All I know is I prayed to God years ago, in my beloved Israel, that I wanted to be in His Kingdom no matter what — even if it took AIDS to help me get and stay straight. Well, it looks like God might let my body be destroyed to save my soul; or He'll let me have it, if He doesn't heal me (and He could), to keep me celibate (since He knows I won't go out and give it to others like some wicked people I know).

Mom said, "God hasn't let you live this long to let you die now." I just hate the selfishness of sin, how I've now hurt and affected my family, and then there's the stigma that a struggling Christian writer would have AIDS! But God promises everything works together for good, for those of us who are called according to His wonderful purpose.

This is only my second day of "living with AIDS" and I'm already sick and tired of thinking and/or worrying about it. Of course I had another test done right then and there just in case, however unlikely, that they switched my blood tube with someone else's. Anyway, life goes on.

Shabbat Shalom,

Your bro,

David