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Each day, like the other estimated one-million Americans who are HIV-positive, Billy lives life to its fullest. "At times I'll get real depressed," he admits, "but I make it through and try to enjoy some of the simpler pleasures." Billy sees life a little differently than probably you and I, and while he talks about different experiences he encounters each day, or about his dreams of surfing in Tavarua that he hopes to fulfill, Billy knows that now, unlike before, he must be wary of what his body will have in store in the future. Would my whole life have to change? or would my life remain the same? sometimes it makes me wanna shout! all these things too hard to think about. His coffee cold, Billy brings up his growing frustration about what has been happening around him. He's afraid to tell friends because of their lack of knowledge about HIV/AIDS. "I know once I tell them," Billy says, "I ll become an instant leper - an outcast." He claims it's not his friends faults, but society's failure to educate his peers about AIDS. "Young adults need to see an alternative, not be preached to, but educated about prevention," Billy explains. "Too many groups are fighting over whether to teach safe sex, abstinence, or give out condoms in the public schools - they don't realize as they're squabbling more of us are dying because we re ignorant to the facts." How am I gonna live my life if I'm positive? is it gonna be a negative? As afternoon comes to a close, Billy rushes to get a quick surf session before dark. I look toward the water: Billy is charging in full force down the line. A few hours later, he comes paddling back, bragging about every cutback he made and asking if we all saw it. At times he amazes me with his energy and love for life, but now I understand how he perceives things. The disease that has taken so many has in no way slowed down Billy and his dreams. Billy may be different from others because of it. He's still my friend. a day to laugh, a day to cry a day to live and a day to die 'til I find out, I may wonder but I'm not gonna live my life six feet under. *lyrics written by Michael Franti, Charlie Hunter, performed by Spearhead, "Positive" appears on Spearhead's Home CD and Red, Hot and Cool CD.
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